Lessons from the Lion Cage
August 13, 2008 1:04 am Lynette's Life, Parenting, Social DebateMy daughter Maddison (11) astounds me with what she picks up on. Whilst in Melbourne recently we visited the Melbourne Zoo. We had a great time, it’s an amazing experience.
But at one point we were standing beside a couple and their two children, a boy maybe 5 and his older sister around 6. Maddison was in her usual form, she had her eyes on the lions feeding, with her ears flapping listening to what was going on around her. The child doesn’t miss a beat. This particular couple had caught her attention. She had been watching them intently for some time. Apparently the mother had placed her daughter up on the fence to get a better view of the lions feeding. The husband had then quickly grabbed the little girl from the fence and protectively placed her on his hip, giving his wife a look of complete disapproval.
This had intrigued Maddison. I might point out there was double fencing around the lion cage and the child was in no danger at all. Maddison starts digging me in the ribs wanting me to take note of the dynamics going on within this family of four. Unbelieveably, two mintues later the husband lifts his younger son up and places him in exactly the same position on the fence from where he had just removed his daughter.
He started proudly pointing out to his son that from this spot he could get a good view of the big cats who by now were tearing apart some sort of animal carcass. Maddison looked at me in amazement and said, “Why is that man being so strange? How come that little girl was not allowed to have her go? Do you think she’ll ever be allowed to stand on the fence and see the lions? How come the girl has to miss out - it’s just not fair Mum.”
It dawned on me right there and then that there is an entire new generation of young women coming though who are being held back from what comes naturally - eagerly awaiting their turn to stand tall on the fence and get the full view of the lions feeding. You know that whilst there is much talk about discrimination towards women by employers, the subtle messages fed through parenting have so much more to answer for.
It’s a challenge I know, but the greatest gift we can give our daughters is to teach them equality from birth and give them opportunity and confidence to stand tall on the top of the fence. And as parents we need to keep our own fears and failures out of the equation.
Lynette Palmen AM is the Founder and Managing Director of Women’s Network Australia, the leading business and professional women’s networking organisation in the Nation. Subscribe FREE to WNA’s weekly eNoticeBoard service or read more about Lynette and why she started WNA.
September 16th, 2008 at 5:58 pm
I watched a great ABC documentary once where they tested the nature vs nurture debate. They dressed a male child in boy’s clothes and placed him in a room with two strangers and watched the interaction from behind a one-way mirror. Both adults played with the child, grabbed all the boy toys like cars and trucks and were even physically rougher with the child. They then removed the male child, dressed him in frilly pink girl’s clothes and placed the child back in the same room with the same adults. They then played with the child much gentler, picked up dolls, soft toys and story books and were very subdued. I certainly think nurture plays a very big part in who our kids become, but so does nature or all same sex twins or kids within the same family would be clones.